Today is the Last Day of January

This January has not been an easy month for me.
The last several weeks have been filled with many changes.
All good ones, but hard for me nonetheless.

Josh and I accepted my mom's challenge of reading the "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey. We have implemented his money strategies: we have established an emergency savings, we cut up the credit cards, we have written a monthly budget, and we have a one-year, debt-free plan in place (except for the new house payment). It's already been difficult to stick to the plan, but with two credit cards paid off now, it has been rewarding.

Josh and I joined the "We are Fit" challenge put on by our ward Relief Society. We both want to be in better shape, lose weight, and feel better about ourselves. We have been drinking more water, exercising, and watching what we eat. We've both lost 3 pounds in 3 weeks. That means only 33 more pounds for me to go, so at this rate, I'll reach my weight-loss goal by September! This challenge has also been difficult, but we are reaping its benefits.

My dad challenged his offspring to read the Book of Mormon this year. Josh, Ammon, and I have taken it on! I love reading it, and I remember how happy I felt when I read it constantly in high school--it's been that long since I read it all the way through. I'm grateful for the chance to read it along with my brothers and sisters and husband and son. I have difficulty reading it unless it's quiet because I want to focus and concentrate and process what it is that I'm reading. Waiting for a quiet time in this tiny house is difficult. The boys are up at 7am, playing the computer, and all day it's noisy, until about 11pm when Josh turns off the TV to sleep and I'm exhausted. I'm not as far as I'd like to be in the book, but I know that my efforts to press on in this wonderful endeavor will be worth it!

We have plans in place to purchase a home this spring--we have put our finances together to be able to afford what we desire and need the most, and have been approved from the mortgage company. We have been looking forward to this occasion for years, and are so excited! The hardest part about this right now for me is that for the last two years, we've used some of our tax refund money towards a couple's vacation. Two years ago, we went to England. Last year we went to New Orleans. This year we WERE going to go skiing in Park City with just a portion of the refund. But the entire refund we just received went towards credit card payoffs and home-purchase preparations. Which means we're NOT going. In the dreary month of January, I usually plan and look forward to the upcoming retreat in February. But not this year. No couple's retreat, no vacation to plan, nothing to lift me from the depressing days of January.

Change is hard. First I embraced it, but after two weeks, I began resisting it. Even though I know everything we are doing now physically, financially, and spiritually will be for a greater cause for us and our family, I've still been struggling mentally.

The truth is I've been depressed for weeks. And I'm tired of it.
Today is the last day of January, and it's time for my pity-party to end.

February starts tomorrow.
In February, I will see my niece be baptized.
I will get to visit my family alone.
I will go to the temple.
Valentine's Day will be celebrated.
We will be living our last month in this old house.
Happy times are on the horizon!!!