October's desires of the heart

I had a strange thought the other day. I was minding my own business, when suddenly this thought entered my head seemingly out of nowhere. The thought was:

"I wish I had a daughter born in October"

Since then, I've thought over and over about why something like that would just pop into my head. After all, Josh and I know we're done having children. And I feel content with our family of six. And I love each of our boys. And for the most part, I feel like our family is complete. I was really caught off-guard by the whole thought. Although it's a lovely thought, I couldn't understand where the beginnings of the thought would've come from.

BUT, I think that I've finally come to the conclusion that perhaps it had something to do with this photo I took:
A little background on the photo...Ammon's football team played in Anaconda, Montana a few weekends ago. I thought the trees' changing colors on the hillside were so beautiful. I had just taken a few photos of Ammon's football team huddling together at half-time with the pretty fall trees behind them. When I sat back down, I watched these two girls from our town coloring so peacefully on the bleachers. Of course, my boys were off running around and digging in a big sand pit they had discovered and chasing other kids--you know, BOY things. I couldn't believe how still these girls were, how happy they were just to sit and color. There was a light breeze blowing that afternoon, and their little blonde wisps blew across their faces, which didn't even distract their focus on coloring. I sat in awe at the beauty of it all put together-like a perfect composition: the beautiful colors of the trees on the mountain, the gentle breeze blowing the youthful blonde hairs, and the serenity of their peaceful coloring activity. I just had to take a picture.

And every time I look at this picture, I feel like I'm looking at a masterpiece. Created by God. Just for me. For a split second in time. Seeing this photo makes me smile. Seeing this photo makes me feel inner happiness. And, well, seeing this photo makes me long for something that I don't have.

Like a daughter. Born in October.