lifetime

When I was in the 3rd grade, I wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up. My teacher loved the planets, loved outer space, and loved the stars. She always talked about them and I could feel that love and I wanted to experience it all as an astronaut.

Unfortunately, when I was in the 4th grade, I became afraid of the night sky. I felt like it was too infinite, too big to understand, too daunting to look at. I'm not sure what caused this change inside of me, but I do remember my mom asking me to come outside one night and watch a meteor shower with her, and I said no because I was already afraid of it.

In one year's time, my dream of becoming an astronaut had completely vanished.

Do you ever feel like the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?" is completely over-rated? Why do we put a label on ourselves, a job title of what we are to become, starting from a young age? I feel like if you work towards something your whole young life, and then don't obtain that 'certain' profession, you feel like a failure of sorts.

I wanted to be an astronaut. Well, now you all know that will never happen.

I wanted to be a hairdresser. That's another profession that I also know I will never be.

I wanted to become a teacher. Some days I still do, so I suppose there's still a possibility it could happen. But it hasn't happened yet, and I graduated from high school almost 14 years ago.

I wanted to be a mother. And I am, but most of the time I feel like I should be fired from this position.

Wouldn't it be better to ask ourselves and our young ones something like "what do you hope to accomplish during your lifetime?" instead? Because then at least we could feel like there would be multiple dreams to fulfill, there would be a constant feel of moving forward, of doing things, of going in the right direction to accomplish those lifetime goals. If I'd asked myself what I wanted to accomplish in my lifetime, instead of what I wanted to be when I grew up, I think the results would've been more positive. I would've felt more successful and less like a failure along the way.
For example, I would've said "I want to fly among the stars" instead of saying "I want to be an astronaut". That task is done--I flew on a plane during the night sky on our way to England in 2008.

I would've said "I want to learn to cut and style hair" instead of saying "I want to be a hairdresser". That task is done--I always cut my boys' hair, I cut my own hair this past summer, and I've helped Josh color and perm his hair

I would've said "I want to be a good influence in someone's life" instead of saying "I want to be a teacher". I'm still working on this task!!!

I would've said "I want to teach my children" and I do, even though I'm not always the best mother.

I think this is one of the reasons I'm making my "Bucket List", why I create yearly goals for myself, why I do a "Top Ten" seasonal activity list. Because even though I haven't turned out the way I imagined, even though I don't have the profession that I used to want to be, even though I'm over 30 and feel like I haven't found my place in life yet, I can still feel good about myself. I feel successful when I put a check by an item on a life list, I feel like I've accomplished something great even if it's just doing something as simple as "jumping in leaves", and I feel like I have many exciting things in life to look forward to, however big or small those things may be! I've turned into a dreamer, a hoper, a wisher. It seems like my head is in the clouds a LOT lately. And I'm okay with that. The music that's currently on my blog is a list of "Wishing and Dreaming" songs. I love listening to the messages in the songs every day. The chorus of Sarah McLachlan's song "One Dream" states: "And you know that you can make it, you've got the whole world in your hands. And you've spent a lifetime working for this moment, and you are shining. You're all that you wanted to be".

What do YOU hope to accomplish during your lifetime?