Friday, January 16, 2015

My Grandma, Betty Lou Rose

The day after Thanksgiving, my Grandma Rose passed away peacefully in her home in Pleasant Grove. It was the same home that Grandpa built, and the one they raised all their children in. I've loved that "Grandma's House" has always been the same place my whole life.

My grandma has been at the most important events of my life, right from the start. After my birth, she flew out to North Carolina (where we were living at the time) for a few weeks to be with my mom, help with my 2 older brothers, and to spend time with me as an infant. My brothers nicknamed me "Sissy" after I came home from the hospital, and since she was there at that time, the nickname stuck, and she called me "Sissy" the rest of my life. She's the only one who I even allowed to call me that after I started elementary school because I always felt special when she called me it, so I never once told her to stop. 

When I was 7 years old, our family moved to Ogden, which was MUCH closer to Pleasant Grove. I remember going down to Grandma's House several times that year on Sundays, when they had family dinners at their house, and all the family would come over. I remember eating mashed potatoes and meatloaf and being surrounded by tons of cousins and chaos and loving every second of it. I wish we were able to go more to those dinners, because a few years later, they stopped having their traditional Sunday family meal as the extended family grew too large to host in their small home.

When I turned 8, my grandparents came to my baptism in Ogden. My Grandpa even baptized me, and it was the first time he'd baptized anyone. He was nervous, so we practiced several times at my house. I remember standing with him in the living room on the main level of our town house, and he kept practicing holding my arms the right way. I loved that my grandparents were involved in that day.

A few weeks after my 8th birthday, my family moved to Tremonton, Utah. I have several random memories of my Grandma being at my home, and times of me at hers during the next 5 years. One time she came to stay a few days at our house, and she slept in my bed (at that time, I had a double bed, and my own room). I remember giving her my favorite pillow-which was a super lumpy one that had already been put through the washing machine--and telling her that she could use my favorite pillow while she stayed with us. She looked at the pillow, and told me how kind that was that I would let her use it. My mom didn't realize grandma had the lumpy pillow until the next day, and she made me take it back so grandma could have a nicer pillow. I didn't realize my lumpy pillow wasn't a "nice" pillow until then, but I hold this memory most tender because my grandma didn't once criticize me for giving her a lumpy pillow, and didn't complain after using my lumpy pillow, either.

Another strong memory I have is when I was allowed to stay at her house one full week during the summer. I can't even remember how old I was, but I was soooo happy to have the chance to stay there (I grew up in a strict home, and wasn't allowed to do a lot of things when I was a child)! It was the only time I ever got to stay there alone, and I've treasured that week my entire life. I think there was one other time when I got to spend two or three nights there, and my sister Tawna was with me that time, but I don't remember much about it like I do the week-long one. During that week, I remember playing night games with cousins outside several nights, something I'd never done before, and I just loved running around in the dark playing games with other kids, and feeling free. It felt like what summers are supposed to be, and I felt so overjoyed to be experiencing it. I remember staying up late one night in the living room with my cousin Ashley and eating a whole bag of Cool Ranch Doritos (a novelty for me!) on the couch, and then being sick to my stomach and throwing it all up in the middle of the night. I remember going to the grocery story in Orem with Grandma, and having her drive me there and I was kind of worried because she wasn't the best driver. I remember watching Grandpa cook in the kitchen, and talking to him as he made meals. I remember Grandma teaching me how to play card games like King's Corner and Solitaire, and making "Midnight Dreams" tea for me to drink as I played. I remember getting to go to my cousin's friend's house and swimming in their outdoor pool with them, and feeling so cool. I remember getting sick, and so snuffly, and my face all swollen and after a couple days, Grandpa said I had "hay fever". It was the first time I'd ever exhibited the symptoms, being so close to fields of hay, and I've had it the rest of my life.

I remember when Grandpa got a shop built, which enabled him to expand on his excellent carpentry skills, and he started making lots of wooden gifts for his family and grandchildren: shelves, heart wall hangings, rocking horses, and miniature benches, just to name a few. My grandparents were both amazing and skilled with their hands: Grandpa was an excellent cook and a master carpenter, and Grandma was an amazing crocheter and doll-maker.  When I was 10 years old, they worked together to make gifts for all the granddaughters: grandpa made a bench, and grandma made a doll (mine had a blue dress--my favorite color!). I loved both so much! In fact, I still have both: the bench is currently in Kanyon's room, and this doll and another one she made later are on display in my bedroom. After I received these gifts for Christmas in 1989, I put all my new gifts on display to have my picture taken, and it started the annual tradition of having Christmas gifts arranged as I sat on the bench for a picture every Christmas after! 

My grandparents came to my wedding, and I remember walking around the Logan temple grounds after the ceremony with the photographer, and having Grandpa cracking lots of jokes. He always knew how to lighten the mood around him! Look how happy everyone in this picture is as he's pulling my train around behind me!! ;)

My grandparents came to my reception, and I love this picture of them going through my reception line: my mom is kissing my grandma as she's looking at me, and I'm looking at my grandpa as he's saying something sweet.

My grandma looked so pretty at my wedding. She had such beautiful physical features as well as a beautiful spirit: she never complained, never talked ill of others, and she gave so freely of her love to her family. I've never once doubted or questioned her love for me: I've always felt it.

My grandparents came to my first child's baby blessing in Tremonton. It was a wonderful day with so much family and friends at my parents' home after church, and I'm so grateful that my grandma and grandpa could came, especially since this photo from that day is the last one I have with my grandpa. He died a year and a half later. 

Grandpa's funeral was in August of 2002, and after the burial, we had a posterity photo with Grandma. She had an individual relationship with all of us, and I am so blessed to be among this group.

After Grandpa died, she struggled and lost her will to do a lot of things that she had done before. Unfortunately, I didn't see Grandma during the first few years after his death. Josh and I moved to Salmon in 2001, and it was a long distance to travel with little children to visit her. In 2008, I wanted to change that, so Josh and I decided we would have a family vacation once a year to visit one of our grandparents, so that our kids could know their great-grandparents better. And we started that annual tradition by visiting Grandma Rose. 

In 2011, we went on vacation to visit her again. She played games with the kids this time, and taught Ammon how to play King's Corner. I adored this visit. The boys and I had such a peaceful time playing and talking with grandma. After this visit, they remembered her as the "Grandma who plays cards". I'm glad they remember her as that, because that's who she was: she just loved games! Her favorites were cards and Aggravation, which my Uncle David made a large board for her so she could play it even after her eyesight began failing in the last couple of years.



In the last 7 years, whenever I have been down that way, I have stopped by Grandma's house to see her. I've noticed her health declining, and have always worried that when I left, it would be the last time I would see her. She has surprised me, and I've been able to have lots of visits with her, for which I am so glad!

 Our family visited her again this year in the spring. This time, she didn't get up. I sat on the floor next to the couch where she laid, and told her how things were going with my family. Then I started reminiscing, and I told her of fond memories I have from my childhood in her home with her and grandpa. She didn't say a lot this last visit, there was a lot of "uh-huhs" mostly, but after sharing with her some of my memories that made me feel loved in her home when I was a child, she said to me "Well...nothing ever stays the same". And I instantly got teary-eyed. I felt like it was a farewell conversation. And it was. This was the last time I saw my grandma alive.

My grandma has been an important part of my life. She's been at all the important events, and she's been my grandma who shared her love for me all the simple days of life, too. She was with me shortly after birth, and I was with her months before her death. Now she gets to be with the love of her life, who she's missed terribly the last 12 years. I'm so glad she doesn't have to be sad anymore in his absence, but I'm saddened with her loss. She was my last living grandma, and I miss her already.

Here's what I know about my Grandma Rose, and what I will never forget about her--this is her legacy that resides in me:
She loved Grandpa with all her heart.
She also loved Elvis and John F. Kennedy, and her dog Chewy.
She loved her children and grandchildren with all her soul, and she gave everything she had to them.
She was devoted to using her talents to bless others: crocheting pillowcases, making afghans and blankets, creating knitted dolls, making floral arrangements to decorate homes and gravesites.
She made the best canned peaches ever.
She was a fierce competitor and enjoyed playing games: especially King's Corner and Aggravation.
She knew what the most important things in life were: relationships, and she let everyone know they were valued by her actions.

I'm so glad that she was my grandma! I love her so much!

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