Easter 2010

Every year since we got married (except one), we've spent Easter with the Perkins family in Tremonton. And every year, we look forward to it and love celebrating it with family! This year was no exception; Easter 2010 was truly wonderful.

Easter was the first weekend in April. It was a cold, windy, snowy weekend. Easter Sunday was the nicest day we'd experienced the whole week! General Conference was on Easter weekend, but unfortunately we didn't watch any of it due to some unforeseen events. We did feel the spirit of the General Authorities being broadcast through radio waves, though. Following the Sunday Afternoon Session, we had a family devotional. We prayed and sang, we read scriptures and talked about the circumstances surrounding Jesus Christ's death and resurrection.

I love Easter. I enjoy reflecting on the purpose for the holiday; I am filled with so much gratitude and have so many reasons for celebrating the special day. I am so grateful for my elder brother Jesus Christ. I know that He lived an exemplary earthly life and He died for me--for all of us. I testify that because of His glorious resurrection, He lives!! And because He lives, each of us can live again after this mortal life. He is my Savior and my Redeemer, and I love him and I strive to emulate him. He is the way! Without Him, I would be lost.

Baskets & Bunnies, Chocolates & Candies

When the Easter Bunny comes to Grandma's house, he hides baskets for the boys as well as all their dyed eggs in the Living Room. They get to begin the search as soon as all four boys are awake on Easter morning.
The boys just love finding all the eggs that they personally created and discovering what's inside their baskets. They were all hoping to receive candy (because Easter candy is THE BEST!!!). And they lucked out! They got lots of different Easter candies and chocolates, and they also got new church socks, lego cars, big chocolate bunnies, and one special item each. They had such a happy Easter morn!!

The ABCDEFGH

The Art of Boiling, Coloring, & Dying Eggs
for Fun at Grandma's House!!!

Bowling to Victory

This was the second year that Ammon has participated in youth bowling league. Every Friday, from October to April, he bowls 3 games with the other members of the league at the local bowling alley. For the first time this year, he competed in region competition in Pocatello during the first weekend in April. He was so nervous! He'd never competed in a different bowling alley and he wasn't sure what to expect. We got there just in time to check in, get a ball, and change shoes before the competition began. Ammon doesn't own a ball, and it was difficult for him to find a ball that worked for him. He started out with an 8 lb. ball, and scored a 65 his first game. Then he went through two more balls before he found an 11 lb. ball that was perfect for him, and from there he improved his score: 94 in the 2nd game and 121 in the 3rd game. His scores qualifed him for the state tournament, but unfortunately we won't be able to go to that this year. But now he's got experience with competing at a higher level, and he'll know what to expect next year!! Congrats Ammon! We are so proud of you! You did a great job with competing and bowling and remaining calm and respectful! We think your improved bowling game is just awesome!

admitting is the first step

I admit I have issues. Lots of them. I hate the ugliness inside of me, and there is so much of it. I don’t like to talk about it much, because I hate vocalizing the deepest, darkest parts of me that are so unappealing. But how can I truly change if I never admit those awful flaws of mine? I believe that admitting my own problems outwardly js necessary in the process of improving myself. I think I will do as Step 5 of the 12-Step Program instructs, and “Admit to God, to ourselves, and to another person the exact nature of our wrongs”. So, here goes…deep breath…


Hi. My name is Kala. And I’m an emotionally disturbed person.

I admit that I need people more than they need me. I know this about myself, but still...

When I discover that someone doesn’t need me in their life as much as I need them in mine, I fill my mind with negative thoughts about myself and about my relationship with that person.

Then I start doubting the relationship.

I hate rejection. I hate the way I feel after being rejected. So I withdraw myself from the relationship to avoid feeling that way.

But then I begin to miss my friend.

By this time, I realize that I'm not the only person in their life, and I become jealous.

My heart hates feeling jealousy, because it is such a dark and strong emotion.

And once again, my head is filled with more negative thoughts about myself.

Then I feel like a complete psycho and ponder all that is wrong with me.

At this point, I usually go off the deep end. I do this by screaming or crying or doing the speedy, high-pitched talk until all my feelings are released. Sometimes I do all 3 of the things simultaneously (and it’s not pretty, trust me).

Then I try to convey some of my feelings to my friend, to let them know the problem is me--not them.

Most of the time, that’s the end of the relationship.


I hate every step of this process, and I go through it every time I make a new best friend. I know I’ve mentioned on my blog before that I can’t make and keep friends due to reasons of moving, but it’s not the full truth. The REAL reason why I go through friends so often is because I’m crazy in the head. And I admit it.

For over a year, I shut myself down from making new friends to avoid deep feelings of any kind. But I wasn't any happier. In fact, I was more miserable. The truth is that I need friends. I need people in my life in order to be emotionally happy. I just need to learn to get beyond this whole painful process that occurs within myself every time!

And now you all know an ugly truth about my innermost me. And now you can understand why the few best friends I have are really important to me--because they choose to see me beyond my many "uglies".

I think we all have parts of ourselves that we don't like, parts of ourselves that make us humble, parts of ourselves that always need improvement. But, I think we all still crave the same things as human beings--to be understood, to be appreciated, to be supported, to be respected, to be loved. I absolutely love Josh Groban's song "You are Loved" sooo much because it really speaks to me. In it, he powerfully sings that "Everybody wants to be understood. Everybody wants to be loved. Everyone needs to be heard".

3-D

I was so excited when "Alice in Wonderland" came out! I convinced Josh to go with me to see it, since neither of us have watched a movie in 3-D and I wanted to experience it so badly! We don't have a movie theater capable of 3-D technology in Salmon, so we drove to Hamilton, Montana to watch it.
To be perfectly clear, Josh had no desire to watch the movie. He hates the story of Alice in Wonderland, he doesn't like Tim Burton creations, and he's not a fan of Johnny Depp. I, on the other hand, love the story of Alice, LOVE Johnny Depp's acting, and think that Tim Burton is a creative genius.
Josh was such a loving husband to go with me, after only a little bit of gentle persuasion! I was glad he came, especially since we had to make the drive home in the dark through a heavy blizzard, turning the 1 & 1/2 hour drive into a 2 & 1/2 hour drive. But I think it was totally worth it (Josh disagrees with me on that matter)!
I thought the movie was awesome (Josh thought it was mediocre). I loved the story, I loved the Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts characters, I loved the special effects, I loved the magical creations produced, I loved seeing it in 3-D. I just loved it all!!! I would totally recommend seeing this movie!!! Josh's review, on the other hand, is that he wouldn't have wasted his money on seeing it (good thing I paid for the date, huh!).
Josh and I have such different tastes in movies, which is why I usually go with a friend instead of him! And now you know which one of us has the better taste in movies....that would be MWAH!!!

Spring Break or Christmas Break?

Spring Break began looking like this:

But after just 2 days, it started looking more like this:
By the end of the 10-day school break, we had seen too many days of this:
During Christmas Break, the boys prayed and prayed for snow, because unlike the rest of the nation, we had none of it in Salmon. This year, Spring Break looked more like the Christmas Break they had hoped and prayed for. Unfortunately, they didn't give a deadline in those prayers, and the prayers were answered several months later, during the time we were hoping for some sunshine!!

Twelve

Twelve lines

from

Twelve of "our" songs

that represent

the Twelve years of our marriage!

Year 1 (1998-99): Take my hand, take my whole life too, for I can't help falling in love with you ("Falling In Love"-UB40)

Year 2 (1999-00): You're wrong when it's right, it's black and it's white. We fight, we break up. We kiss, we make up ("Hot n Cold"-Katy Perry)

Year 3 (2000-01): Together we can take it to the end of the line ("Total Eclipse of the Heart"-Bonnie Tyler)

Year 4 (2001-02): Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song--every rose has its thorn ("Every Rose has its Thorn"-Poison)

Year 5 (2002-03): I will be strong, I will be faithful, 'cause I'm counting on a new beginning, a reason for living, a deeper meaning ("Truly, Madly, Deeply"-Savage Garden)

Year 6 (2003-04): Yes I'm Siskel, Yes I'm Ebert, and you're getting two thumbs up ("Discovery Channel"-Bloodhound Gang)

Year 7 (2004-05): How do I get through one night without you? If I had to live without you, what kind of life would that be? ("How Do I Live"-Trisha Yearwood)

Year 8 (2005-06): I wanna wrap the moon around us, and lay beside you skin on skin ("I Need You"-Tim McGraw/Faith Hill)

Year 9 (2006-07): Still we both know that the road is long; we know that we will be together, because our love is strong ("Love of a Lifetime"-Firehouse)

Year 10 (2007-08): Slowly learning that life is OK ("Take on Me"-Aha)

Year 11 (2008-09): I'm everything I am because you loved me ("Because You Loved Me"-Celine Dion)

Year 12 (2009-10): When the sun shines, we shine together, told you I'll be here forever ("Umbrella"-Rihanna)

Happy 12th Anniversary, babe! There's nobody else I'd rather take the rollercoaster ride of life with! You....complete.....me!!!

Weekend at Perk's

Over the last weekend in March, I took a trip to visit my Grandpa in Spokane. He is 92 years old and lives alone (Grandma died in October). He is so healthy for his age and is very independent. I spent two nights at his house. He's lonely, and he enjoyed having someone to talk to. I listened to lots of stories of his childhood, of his teenage years, of his years serving as a pilot in World War II, of memories in the house he built on Lake Coeur d'Alene.

Grandpa was born during World War I. He was the eldest of 8 children. His family lived on a farm in Farmington, Utah in a 2 bedroom house heated by the wooden kitchen stove. The house had no indoor plumbing, so they had to use an outhouse. He loved growing up on the farm and the life that he lived in his youth.

As he told me the following story, I kept having different images from the movie "Up" pop into my mind. When he was a boy scout, he liked reading the BOY'S LIFE magazine and began idolizing many of the pilots featured. He especially liked Commander Byrd who flew to the South Pole, and Charles Lindbergh who was the first man to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean. Lindbergh toured the country after that with his plane the Spirit of St. Louis (a single-seat, single-engine plane). When Grandpa was 11, Lindbergh came to the Salt Lake City airport. Grandpa had read about it in the newspaper, and had begged his dad to take him to the airport. When they got to the airport, Grandpa climbed over a fence to see Lindbergh's plane. He touched it and a security guard noticed and told him not to touch. Lindbergh was right by his plane, and told the guard that it was alright. He came up to Grandpa and talked to him and let him touch the plane. The summer after he turned 16, Grandpa took flight lessons and got his private pilot's license. Years later, when the World War II draft came, he was enlisted. He planned on becoming a flight instructor, but ended up becoming trained by the Army Air Forces as a pilot to fly C-47 transport planes during the war instead.

When I think of my grandpa, I always think of his downstairs den. Since he built the house on Lake Coeur d'Alene, it has virtually remained unchanged (which has been longer than my lifetime)! Even when they moved to the new house in the Spokane Valley gated community in 2000, he had the room built to replicate the one in the house on the lake, so it still feels the same! His room is full of his life's memories, and he pointed out multiple items in the room and told me the history of how he received each one, where he was when he got them, and what he was doing when he acquired them.
During the weekend, we went through some of Grandma's personal belongings like her clothes and jewelry. We sorted through old boxes of her crafting items in a downstairs closet. We went through boxes of various odds & ends from the storage room. I came home with over 15 boxes to go through and organize!
I enjoyed spending one-on-one time with my grandpa. I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to go and visit him. It was neat for me to listen to his stories and to hear about his many life experiences. It was good to see him and to know that he's taking care of himself in my grandma's absence--they were married for 69 years before she passed away! I'm the second closest relative distance-wise to him, and I live 5 1/2 hours away. Only my cousin Nate, who lives in Missoula which is 3 hours away from Spokane, is closer. Grandpa was grateful for a visitor and was so happy I was there. I hope to make the same trek again this coming fall (last November I planned to go, but it snowed the day I was to drive there and he didn't want me to drive through the snow alone).

the miracle medicine for motherhood

Before returning home from our vacation to England in February of 2008, we loaded up on English chocolates. The Cadbury chocolate 1 lb. bars, in all of its varieties and flavors, were on sale and were just too enticing NOT to buy a whole cart of! You haven't tasted chocolate until you've partaken of the British Cadbury Chocolate! SOOOO Delicious! We gave some to friends and family as souvenirs, and we kept the rest of the scrum-diddly-umptious bars for ourselves!

In an effort to truly savor the chocolate, and to make the deliciousness and memories last as long as possible from that incredible trip, I only ate two little squares of chocolate from a bar every day. In doing so, the chocolate bars lasted a year before the last squares of the last chocolate bar were consumed.

The daily chocolate consumption started a habit for me. A habit I like to call "Rewarding Myself". Let me explain...I don't like getting out of bed in the morning. I never have. My bed feels the most comfortable and cozy to me in the early morning hours. I want to lay there all day. But, alas, I am a mother. I have four children. I have responsibilities. I have duties. I have obligations. So...I force myself to get out of bed each day.

If my morning bed is the most comfortable place for me, then equally so, my morning shower is the most refreshing activity for me. I feel new and whole and ready to start each new day after having my shower. And, after my daily shower, I treat myself to two pieces of chocolate. One chocolate is a reward for getting out of bed. The other chocolate is a reward for being ready to face the day and whatever it brings my way!!

I have a beautiful dish that stores the chocolate in my room. It is in a place above the childrens' reach. I buy chocolate whenever it's on sale (after holidays are over is the best time), so that I always have some on hand and never run out! I admit I'm in love with chocolate. But, I also admit that being a mother is difficult. My daily chocolate consumption is my own personal remedy for dealing with the challenges of motherhood!!! After all, Desserts is Stressed spelled backwards!!!