Salmon Tolman Fam: My Grandpa, "Perk"

My Grandpa Perkins passed away in the early morning hours on Saturday, February 13. He was 98 1/2 years old. I had planned on going up to visit him again that day, because I knew he wasn't doing very well, and I wanted him to not be alone when he passed away. I was awakened with a telephone call that morning by my dad who told me the news. There was a very special experience I had regarding the circumstances surround his death, though, and when I first found out that he'd died, I felt full of peace inside. When I visited him in January, I was there when the hospice nurse came by for the first initial visit. She spoke to him about their services and asked him for a health history; the visit lasted for about 2 1/2 hours because of grandpa's inability to answer a single question without telling a lengthy story. At one point, he was going into painful detail about his extreme dislike of nursing homes, and the fact that both his wife and his daughter died in one, and he was still very bitter about their deaths. He was adamant that he not go to one himself. And it was at that moment, I had a very acute thought, that was coupled with a feeling of warmth that overtook my entire body. It was a very spiritual moment for me; I was overwhelmed with emotion, and as a result, silent tears began to fall. The thought was "Our family can help him to not die at a nursing facility, we can fast and pray together for him to pass away peacefully and with dignity." I knew that the time was not right then, but at the rate that he was declining, I knew it would be within a month or two.

When I got home from my trip to Spokane, I called my mom and told her the spiritual affirmation I'd had while visiting Grandpa, and I told her that when the time was right, our family could fast and pray for his death to happen. Although Grandpa was still mentally strong, his body continued to steadily decline over the next few weeks due to the congestive heart failure. His hospice care nurse was concerned about Grandpa's decline, and his extreme stubbornness which contributed to him not taking his medicine. A few days before his death, he was admitted to the hospital due to the worsening effects of the heart failure: the swelling and the difficulty breathing. The doctor did not want to release Grandpa to live at home alone anymore, hospice was refusing to care for him because they thought it was taking too long for him to die (it had been 3 weeks since they'd started coming), and he was refusing to be admitted to a care facility. On the night of the 11th, my dad called me. As soon as I heard his voice say "Kala", on the phone, I got the overhwelming sensation in my body again, and I instantly knew it was time for our family to have a unified prayer and fasting for Grandpa. My dad asked that we pray that Grandpa would go quickly.

On Friday the 12th, we all fasted (my siblings, my parents, my uncle & aunt, and my cousins) and prayed for this cause. On Friday mid-morning, family friend Jo went to visit him at the hospital and said he was in good spirits. That afternoon, his neighbors the Debenham's visited him. Grandpa tried to explain to them he just needed to get the swelling down and he would feel better, but Lois told him the swelling was not going to go away. She said at that moment, she saw a change in his countenance, and he seemed more sullen; he finally accepted that he was not going to recover from this with his sheer will like he'd always been able to do in the past. That evening, he was released from the hospital and was discharged to a hospice facility. Within just a few hours of being there, he died in his sleep.

My grandpa was a very special man. He was hard-working, independent, and caring. He had a rich history, and was an avid story teller. He remembered so much detail, and always shared every little tidbit in his stories. He loved sharing his history and stories with others. He would tell me stories of his childhood: trapping animals and catching skunks and meeting Charles Lindbergh. Stories of his teenage years: riding the trolley and helping on the farm by the Farmington watermill and his aspirations of being a pilot. Stories of his young adulthood, going to college and dancing at Lagoon and going skiing and meeting Grandma. Stories of being in World War II: flying in the Berlin Airlift, watching his friends die, flying to England and Germany and Holland and South America, meeting the Queen of England. Stories of his family: flying over his house in Kaysville, taking his kids fishing, taking his family on trips, living in different places, bringing a foreign dog home to the states. Stories of his retirement: building his home on Lake Couer d'Alene (he built it himself!!), living on the lake, going places with Grandma, experiences with grandkids. I will miss his stories.

My grandma was always the social one, and the involved one in my life when I was a child. I always remember Grandpa being present, but he took the quiet role when Grandma was taking care of us kids and hosting our family at the lake house (well, except when he and Grandma fought--which was quite often, and over trivial things--and then he wasn't so quiet!). But even though I didn't know him as well when I was a kid, there were things I've always known about my Grandpa, even from my childhood: he was very orderly, he was a pilot, he liked things being constant and didn't like change, he liked having historical momentos on display in his home, he liked gardening, he liked hunting and fishing, and he liked mallard ducks. There were so many artifacts and animal hides on display throughout his home, and I liked looking at all of them, and seeing them every time I visited.

The large wolf

Clyde the Caribou

The bobcats and badger

The famous bear rug and the saddle display behind it

I loved this old phone;
I played with it a lot when I was a kid

The wall of historical figures--I think they came from a magazine?
They used to line the walls along the stairwell, but in the new house,
they lined the basement hall wall.

His guns and some of the mallard ducks

The fireplace adorned with horse figurines, and a large snowshoe

All these items represented a story and something sentimental to Grandpa, and I loved that he had so much to display. He took great care of his things, too, and they never seemed to be dusty or spiderwebby or forgotten. He always grew beautiful flowers, and enjoyed working in his flower gardens outside.

Flowers lined the walkway that led to the lake from their lake house.
This photo was taken on my last visit to the lake house (and Josh's first time) in 1998.

There were always beautiful flowers growing around Grandpa's house!
This photo was taken in 2009

This was the back "yard" of the Spokane house. Although
it was a very small area, Grandpa filled the space with plants.

Once when I visited him at the beginning of March,
there was still snow in Salmon, but he already
had plants growing in his yard in Spokane!

The lake house was getting too much to take care of for my aging grandparents, so they sold it in 1998, and moved to a gated community in Spokane. They had a new house built that was very similar in size and structure to the house that Grandpa had built on the lake, and they had it decorated similar too. I remember when I saw their new house for the first time, it felt so familiar and like home to me!

Grandpa at his dock.
He built up the grassy area himself that was adjacent to the boat house.
Notice that circle above the garage door...it had the letter P in the middle.

He put the P circle sign above the garage door at their new house in Spokane.

This is Josh sleeping in Grandpa's chair downstairs
in the "man cave" at the lake house in 1998.

This is grandpa in the same chair, on the same rug, with the same
table in front at his new home in the downstairs "man cave" in 2009.

I've shared some special moments with Grandpa in my adult life, and I treasure the time I've had with him. I remember calling him on the phone after I got engaged to tell him when my wedding was, and he and Grandma were able to come to it. He told me on my last visit to him in January, that he was only able to attend 3 of his grandchildren's weddings. I'm so grateful he was there at my wedding. I didn't realize how lucky Josh and I were at the time, that 7 of our 8 grandparents were with us on our special day. I regret not having a picture with the group of grandparents that day!

Grandma and Grandpa at the restaurant we ate at after I went through the
temple for the first time a few days before my wedding.

He and Grandma came to Utah for multiple funerals, and I was always so glad for the chance to see them. Here's some of my sisters and I at Aunt Ann's (my grandma's sister) funeral in 2002.

In 2005, we visited Grandma and Grandpa on our way back home from Cody's wedding in Seattle, and then we saw them just a few weeks later at Aunt Candi's (my dad's sister) funeral in Boise.

In 2007, my dad planned a visit for all of my sisters and I to surprise Grandma and Grandpa for their birthdays. It was awesome!!! My grandparents were so surprised, and so happy to have us there! I'll forever cherish that experience!

I got a 4-generation shot while we were there in 2007, too!

In 2008, I had an inspiration to take my boys to visit one home of Josh's or my grandparents each year. I felt sad that my children didn't know their great-grandparents better, and there was no reason for it. We lived about 6 hours away from almost all of them, and I knew that wasn't too far away--we just had to make an effort to see them, instead of just letting time pass and wishing that we'd gone to visit more. So that summer, we went to visit my Grandma Rose. In 2009, we went to visit my Grandma and Grandpa Perkins in Spokane. I will always be so glad that I started this tradition with my children. They have gotten to know 4 great-grandparents who have passed away since we started the annual visits: my Grandma Perkins died 3 months after our visit in 2009, Josh's Grandma Tolman died in the summer of 2011 and we'd had lots of opportunities to visit her when she lived in care centers in Blackfoot and Idaho Falls, my Grandma Rose died 6 months after our visit to her in 2014, and my Grandpa Perkins died 6 months after our family's visit to him in 2015.

2009

2012

2015

In addition to our family's visits every 3 years, I began going by myself to visit my Grandpa at least once a year in the past 6 years since Grandma died. This time has been so beneficial for my relationship with him: it wasn't until the last 6 years that I really got to know him, as a result of all the one-on-one time I got to spend with him. I love my grandpa, and I'm so blessed to belong to his posterity. I miss him, and I have bouts of sadness knowing that my time spent on earth with him is done, but I know he is happy to be reunited with his wife, daughter, siblings, and parents again.

2009

2011

2012

2013

Every time I'd go visit grandpa, and we'd have breakfast together at his house, he always wanted me to put a sliced banana on my cereal. It's how he ate his cereal, and he always tried to convince me to do the same! I love cereal, and I love bananas, but not together! He never gave up, though, and would still give me a banana every single time in hopes that I would put it on my cereal! It always made me laugh, and is one of my special little memories of him!

2015

William Merrill Perkins, 1917-2016

William Merill Perkins was born 8 July 1917 to William Richard and Mamie Coombs Perkins in Farmington, Utah. He was the oldest of 9 children.

He graduated from Davis High in 1935 and then attended the University of Utah. In August 1940 he married Augusta Rigby. The marriage was later consecrated in the Salt Lake City LDS temple in 1943. In 1943 he enlisted in the US Army Air Corps and after graduating from aviation cadets became a pilot. He flew C-47’s and dropped paratroopers in Holland and in Germany in addition to numerous supply runs to embattled forces at Bastogne and other European sites. He received the Air Medal and was wounded during his wartime exploits.

After World War II he was called up from the reserves during the Berlin Airlift in 1948. He flew C-54’s to that encircled city until the Soviets opened the border in 1949. He was called up again in 1950 during the Korean war and served in Greenland and Newfoundland. In 1952 he flew a rescue mission to the North Pole to save a research expedition. He was a Command Pilot and rated in over a dozen aircraft.

He retired as a Lieutenant Colonel from the United States Air Force in 1965. After he retired, he built a home for his family at Ben Point on Lake Coeur d'Alene. He was an Elder in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and active in church programs, and attended the Spokane temple often in his later years with his wife. He was a great outdoorsman who enjoyed hunting, fishing, trapping, skiing, riding horses, and growing flowers. He had a passion for flying, a love of traveling and taking photographs, and a knack for telling stories. He loved his family and his country, and served both with honor. He died from natural causes incident to age on 13 February 2016.

He was preceded in death by his wife, Augusta; daughter, Candice Crouch, brothers Dean, Richard and Eugene, and granddaughter Michelle. He is survived by his sons Fredrick and Michael, brothers Harold and Vaughan, sisters Elaine Roberts, Beverly Ferrante and Marsha Rackham, grandchildren Charlie, Lisa, Mick, Chris, Nate, Cody, Kala, Jared, Tawna, Tabbi, Liz, Ben, Trina, and 14 great-grandchildren (with one more on the way).

The funeral will be at 1:00 pm, 22 February at Russon Brothers Mortuary, 1941 N. Main, Farmington, Utah. Interment will be at the Farmington Cemetery.