{January 11 - 17}
Monday was Ammon's birthday; he turned 16 years old!!! That is crazy talk right there! I truly can't believe it--but it's true. We had taken away his license away in November, as a consequence for some poor choices he made, and on the eve of his 16th birthday, we gave him back his license and the keys to his car. He was so happy to be able to drive again! And it was nice for us to not have to worry about driving in to drop him off and pick him up from his basketball practices anymore. The first thing he said to me after coming home from school was "I love driving. I've missed it so much!". We ate dinner, and then I took Kanyon in to his basketball practice, and Ammon drove himself to his own basketball practice. I used to go to yoga on Mondays for the hour during Kanyon's basketball practice, but after Christmas, the instructor dropped that specific class time. So instead, I stayed at the school and took a college test for my last class of the semester called "Intro to Lesson Planning and Presentation". I learned over the weekend that the final I turned in for my previous class passed, and I was so glad! But with just 3 weeks left of the semester, I knew I needed to remain focused to complete my last class. I passed the test I took that night, and it only took me about 45 minutes to complete it, so I watched Kanyon play for the last 15 minutes of his practice. This is the first year he's participated in the youth basketball league, and he's really enjoyed it. He did so well, due to the practice he'd done on the school playground court the previous spring and shooting hoops by grandma's house all summer. On this specific night of practice, he got 4th place in the dribble tag, and 3rd place in the championship lightning game. It was fun to watch him!
After both Kanyon's and Ammon's basketball practices were done, we had brownies and ice cream for Ammon's birthday at our house that night. Grandma, Grandpa, and Malachi came up to eat with us, too. Since it was already 9:00, we had Family Home Evening backwards, in order to for them to join us (usually we have dessert last). After brownies and ice cream, we had our first family testimony meeting of the year, and it was a very nice evening all around.
On Tuesday afternoon, my piano lesson that's usually right after school cancelled, so when we got home from school, I made dinner for everyone, then hunkered down on my college class work again for several hours. My college mentor called at 9:00 that night (we have bi-weekly phone call appointments), and I learned that in order to do my student teaching next January, my next semester would have to be 17-credits, and I'd have to have it completed by June 1. Usually I've had only 12-15 credits per semester, and have 6 months to complete them. That's a lot to get done in 4 months! Because my specific school semesters start in February and August, and student teaching can only be done in September or January, I'd have to either take a semester off and do student teaching in September of 2017, or I'd have to work hard and add extra classes to my schedule to start my student teaching in January of 2017. I was already planning on graduating next summer 2017, so I said I'd rather just do what it takes to get it done quicker. Then she said my following semester would have to be 16 credits, and I'd have to have everything done by December 1. Plus, I have to get my portfolio, field experiences application, student teaching application, and Praxis II test done as well. The news was a lot to swallow, and I went to bed with a huge weight on my chest and had nightmares that night as a result.
On Wednesday, another one of my piano lesson students didn't show up for her lesson right after school, and I had to wait in town until Kanyon's scouts were over. They had built wooden model cars and were busy painting them, so Kanyon got out of scouts later than usual. I ran him home, made a quick meal of hot dogs with mashed potatoes and cheese on top, we ate, and then Ammon drove Kanyon back to town for his last basketball practice. Kanyon's basketball program was two nights a week for just 6 weeks. After Ammon dropped him off, he went to watch a high school wrestling meet. The older 3 boys had combined YM/YW activity of broom hockey that night in the church gym at 7:00. So I drove the twins in to go to that, picked up Kanyon, and Ammon met the twins at the church after the wrestling meet was over. All three of the boys had so much fun at broom hockey, and Jonah scored the winning goal for his team, so he got to bring home the extra cookies leftover from the activity. And Kanyon got to bring home a new basketball after his last practice, so he was excited about that as well.
Josh and I have been buying PowerBall tickets since mid-December. We buy them whenever the winnings are over 200 million, because we so desperately want to buy a new school and other things for this community. There hadn't been a winner since November, and as of January 13, the jackpot was over a billion dollars. I don't ever remember it going that high! In the course of a month (the powerball is drawn twice a week: on Saturday and Wednesday nights), we'd purchased so many lottery tickets, and actually had one good winning number in December that earned us $100, but we were sad when we discovered that someone else other than us had the winning numbers on Wednesday night, because it meant no new school would be built for our community in the near future.
On Thursday, Kanyon stayed home from school because he was sick. There's been a cough and fever going around our family, and it had been getting worse with him. He felt terrible that morning, so I didn't want to force him to go to school. Josh had driven for a bus trip and got home late the night before, and he was scheduled to drive bus for Ammon's ball game to West Jefferson later that afternoon, so he didn't have to drive his regular bus route that morning and was able to stay home with Kanyon for a while instead. Josh took me to lunch at Savage Grill before he had to leave town, which was the best thing that happened to me all day. I like that we have lunch dates occasionally, because it isn't always feasible to have evening dates often anymore. I feel like I don't see him very much right now, and am grateful for the chance to catch up with my handsome hubby whenever I can! I was scheduled to have my bangs colored and get a haircut after school with Amanda, and I'd been looking forward to it all week. Malachi and Molly's wedding was coming up, and my hair really needed a freshening up. But when I walked into the salon, Amanda's ex-husband was there to get a haircut, and she told me it would be another 15 minutes before she could get to me. Since Josh and Ammon were out of town, I had to pick up the twins when their ski bus returned to the school at 5:00, so I couldn't stay later. That only left me with 45 minutes to do my hair. And since I hadn't had my bangs colored in 2 months, the roots needed to be re-bleached, so it was a double process--first the bleaching, then the coloring. We barely got done with the coloring at 5:00, which meant I didn't have time to get a haircut. And since Kanyon was at home, I knew that I couldn't come back to the salon after picking up the twins, because I needed to go home to be with him. I loved the new coloring in my bangs (I had her add more dark and less pink to the Neopolitan bangs), but I'd wished that I'd been able to have my hair cut, too, just like I scheduled it for.
 |
| vanilla on top, chocolate in the middle, strawberry on the bottom! |
On Thursday night, I found out that my Grandpa was in the hospital and has congestive heart failure. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself--first that my hair wasn't going to be what I wanted it to be for the wedding, and second that my Grandpa was pretty sick. Then on top of it, I missed Josh being home with me and was sad that I couldn't go to yet another of Ammon's basketball games. Josh texted me an update about Ammon's ball game that evening: he played a lot, got 7 of the team's 27 points, but he fouled out. There was some bad reffing (as usual), and the team didn't do too well. I was too depressed to work on my college class, so after helping Kanyon work on his missed class work, I laid in bed and watched movies instead.
 |
| Kanyon working on his cursive letters |
On Friday, I studied and read a ton all day long for my college class, but I took a break that afternoon to take the 3 younger boys to the Family Fun Sledding activity on the hill at the high school. There was free hot dogs and hot chocolate, and we all thought it sounded like a great thing to get us out of the house. I dropped them off, went tanning (I got myself another month pass for January because I liked doing it so much in October), and then returned to watch them sled. It stressed me out watching all the kids go up and down the single hill, without a lot of organization, and brought back terrible memories of when I was 7 years old, and had a sledding accident that ended up in an E.R. visit and stitches on my chin. Well...sure enough, there was a boy who also had a sledding accident, and the ambulance came to get him. He'd gone over a jump at the base of the hill, and fell off his sled onto the concrete at the bottom of the sledding hill, and hit his head. The boys had a good time, though, especially Kanyon!
On Saturday morning, our whole family drove to Josh's youngest brother Malachi and his new bride Molly's wedding in Rexburg. As we drove into Rexburg, the snow was coming down hard, but the roads had been dry before that. The wedding was at 1, and we were running a little late. We got to town about 12:15, and Josh and I argued about where to take the kids to eat, because we didn't want to be late for the wedding, but we knew they needed some food to tide them over. We finally decided on Taco Bell. We ordered food to go, and made it to the temple just in time at about 12:30, which is when guests are supposed to be there. The boys ate and watched a movie in the car as Josh and I went into the wedding. It was a beautiful wedding. Malachi and Molly both looked so happy. They are a great couple, and we are ecstatic to have Molly join our family. In fact, last summer, when Molly was still on her mission, Kanyon was making a genealogy chart at church, and the first person he put on his tree was Molly--even though she wasn't technically a member of our family yet!
It was still snowing hard when the wedding was over, and it was difficult to get group pictures taken in the snow outside as a result.
 |
| Kanyon and his Pal: uncle Mal |
Okay...we're coming up on the emotionally-worst part of my week. It's still pretty fresh on my hurt heart, so I might say things that could potentially offend or hurt others. I guess that was a benefit to blogging a month behind in my old style of writing--time seems to lessen the anger and frustration on my heart, or at least make me forget some of it, so my delayed writing wasn't always so full of fresh feelings! But now that I'm blogging a week at a time, the events of the week could still be so new that I haven't had time to process them fully yet. Okay...so after the group photos at the temple were done, we all went separate ways until Malachi and Molly's reception that evening. As I was taking this next photo of the Forsgren clan, (the last photo I took at the temple before heading to the car), Josh was giving the keys to Ammon to go get his stuff out of the car. Ammon had a basketball game in Salmon that evening, and originally Josh thought he didn't need to miss his game to come to Malachi's wedding. I felt differently, and thought it was important to support family. We had an argument over Christmas break about it, and then we didn't discuss the subject again until the week before the wedding. I came up with a compromise: I said if Ammon could come to Rexburg with us to be involved in the photos after the wedding, that he could ride back to Salmon with Tim and Barb and still make it to his game while the rest of our family went to Kimi's wedding. Josh thought it was silly to make him drive for 5 hours (round trip total) just to be included in a few pictures, but he agreed to go along with my decision. I wasn't sure I could trust Ammon to be home all day alone yet (he'd been grounded for 2 months), and I knew that Molly and Malachi had purchased matching ties for all the guys to wear and had been very specific about what they wanted the ladies and family members to wear, so I knew that pictures were important to them, too, so having him come seemed like the right thing to do.
But unfortunately, the group photos didn't include any of Tiffany's children. Although there had been matching clothes purchased for them to wear, she didn't bring her children to the temple. In Malachi and Molly's itinerary for the day, it said "2:00--begin family pictures, 3:00--finish family pictures". I had thought the only time we would even be doing family pictures was right after the temple ceremony took place! So, although we had Ammon come to the temple, it ended up being that he didn't even NEED to be there, since it wasn't an ENTIRE group photo of our family. I was a little frustrated, but that just got worse. Because at the same time I was taking the above photo, unbeknownst to me, Josh gave Ammon the car keys, told him to get his stuff out of the car so he could leave with Tim and Barb, and told him to LEAVE the keys in the car, and to MAKE SURE that it was left unlocked. As I was saying goodbye to the Forsgren's, and we were making plans with Josh's parents for the afternoon, Josh could see Ammon getting his stuff out of the vehicle (we were parked right next to the handicap spots, so we were pretty close to the temple). As we walked toward our car, Ammon was gone, and so were Tim and Barb. And when we got to the car, it was locked. It was LOCKED with the keys INSIDE it!!! It was a nightmare. I had a meltdown right there. I hadn't planned on being outside for pictures for long, so I hadn't worn my coat, and neither had my children. It was very cold and very snowy, and we were all stranded outside in a different city on a Saturday afternoon, and I felt so full of despair. I began yelling and crying, and Edward and Kathy pulled up, rearranged all the belongings in their car so the 3 younger boys could get in and be warm, and they drove them to the reception hall. Josh took off the antenna from the suburban, and Michael helped him to try to get it unlocked using that. As they did that, Weaton went to his house and got a metal hanger, because the temple didn't have one (I checked at the front desk who called the engineering department). When Weaton and Erick came back, they all worked trying to get the wire hanger to unlock the door. But once they tried pressing the door lock with the hanger, and it wouldn't unlock the doors (because it was electronically shut off), I knew that we would be outside all day doing this and it would never open. I called the locksmith who said he would be there in about 35 minutes. The boys continued to try to get it unlocked, and as they did, I sat in Weaton's car alone and sobbed uncontrollably for about 20 minutes. I was so upset. I couldn't figure out the lesson in all of this.
We had just given Ammon some trust back, and this is what we got in return. Was the lesson to not put trust and faith in him again? He SWORE he didn't lock it when he left, but we were in this situation regardless. Josh and I had argued about having him come in the first place. Was the lesson that I should've given him MORE trust and had him stay home alone all day? The last time we did that in November, disaster happened and it broke my mothering heart. Was the lesson that I should've let Josh have HIS way (NOT mine)? Since all the family wasn't in attendance at the temple anyways, it did seem pointless after all to make Ammon come all the way just for an incomplete family picture and then turn around and head home again. Was the lesson that I should NOT bring my kids to the temple? Was the lesson that I need to learn to let go of situations I have no control over? Was the lesson that I should be prepared at all times? I was so confused, and didn't understand why this had to happen when it did. When the locksmith showed up, it had been an hour since we'd first found it locked. It never stopped snowing during that time, and it was so nice of the Forsgren boys to stick it out with Josh outside the whole time. The locksmith charged $40, and with his magical touch, it instantly unlocked. Josh and I left to go to the reception hall where the boys were waiting with his parents. Malachi and Molly were finishing their pictures with the photographer, and Edward brought some pizza for us to eat, since most hadn't had lunch before the temple.
 |
| See the snow still falling out the window? |
As we were eating, Kathy informed us that group pictures would commence again at 5:00, this time with all of Tiffany's family in attendance, and asked us to be present for it. But we reminded her that we would be gone, as our friend (and my pseudo-sister) Kimi was getting married in Idaho Falls (which we'd told everyone that at Thanksgiving, but apparently nobody remembered). Did everyone except us know about the group photos at 5? The itinerary didn't reflect that family pictures would be taken during that time, and nobody said anything about it before that moment. If I'd known, I wouldn't have ever fought to bring Ammon, and we wouldn't have been in the situation we were in with the locked car. I just wanted to leave after that, so we did. I felt depleted of energy after my sobbing session and my mind's mental assault. We drove to Idaho Falls on snowy roads, did some shopping at Sam's Club and Home Depot, and went to the Willard Arts Center for Kimi's wedding and reception. She looked SO beautiful!
Preh is from Nigeria, and his parents were able to fly over to be at their wedding. I loved their traditional apparel.
Preh looked so dashing in his gray suit with the plum-colored vest, and Kimi looked beautiful and extraordinarily happy. I was so glad that I could be at her wedding! I love her so much!
We wore the same clothes to Kimi's wedding that we did for Malachi and Molly's wedding. Mal and Molly's colors were black, white, and silver. I loved being able to attend two weddings on the same day, for four people we love and adore. Love was definitely in the air, and when I wasn't freaking out due to the circumstances, I did feel love and joy, and reflected back on my own wedding 17 years ago with this great catch of mine!
We stayed long enough to be at part of the reception, and to see Kimi and Preh cut the cake. We left just as the best man and bridesmaid were getting ready to give their speech, and we missed the first dance. It was already after 8:00, and it was still snowing, and we wanted to get home before it was too late and we'd be sleepy drivers.
The roads weren't the best, and the worst was definitely from Idaho Falls to Sage Junction, but since we were in the suburban, we were able to manage just fine and made it home about 11:00. When Ammon was driving home after his basketball game, there was a wreck on the highway and the road was blocked, and he had to wait for almost 45 minutes. We were glad that we all made it home safely from our long, tiring day.
On Sunday morning, Josh and I had a stupid argument. The reasons now are not even worthwhile mentioning. I'm sure it's because we were both tired and stressed. He had to go to the other ward to teach a lesson in the young men's because he's in the stake organization and it was their ward conference, and then he had to teach a lesson right after that for his Sunday school class in our ward. And I was planning to drive to Spokane after church to go visit my grandpa, who would be getting released from the hospital the following day, and no family was there to support him. After church, I packed up all the stuff I needed, and right before I left, Josh talked with me for a moment before kissing me goodbye. I appreciated his humble nature, and recognizing his part in the morning's argument. It wouldn't have been good if I'd left mad, because what I was about to endure was challenging for, and it would've been even harder and more stressful for me if I'd left knowing that he was still mad at me.
I left Salmon about 3:00 that afternoon, and the drive to Missoula was no problem (except one spot going over Lost Trail Pass: it was snowy and the road wasn't plowed, but I slowly made it up and over). Missoula is about the half-way point between Salmon and Spokane. But the road from Missoula to Spokane was awful. There was a slight drizzle, and I was chasing the setting sun, and it was hard to see, and I was driving through the winding mountains and there were ice patches. But when I reached the base of Lookout Pass on the border of Montana and Idaho, it started snowing heavily. About halfway up, there was two long lines of semi trucks and cars, and we were going uphill about 20-30mph, because there was a snowplow ahead of us that nobody would pass. We went several miles going that slow, and I was getting frustrated, but then the snowplow pulled over, and the trucks and cars started passing it, and there was no longer a clear path to follow, and with my small silver car, I was losing speed, and I couldn't see the road lanes, and I was white-knuckling passing a semi, and slowed down severely, and right before I got into what I thought was the right hand lane after passing the semi, I looked in my rear-view mirror, and there was another semi that was on my tail so close, it had to have been only 2-4 inches from my bumper. I hadn't even noticed it so close, but because I slowed down so much since there wasn't a clear trail to follow in the left lane, it gained momentum on me really fast. When I pulled into the right lane, it zoomed past me ever so quickly, and I thanked God that I hadn't just gotten into a wreck with a semi to the right AND behind me. I wouldn't have survived in my little car. It was tough getting over the hill from there, because my front wheels kept spinning and the headlights kept flickering, and I was so scared, but finally I reached the summit, and it started to clear up as I went down the other side of the mountain, and I made it to Spokane safe--but much later than I'd anticipated.
 |
| Going up Lookout Pass, following the line of cars and semis behind the plow. |
The visiting hours at the Spokane Valley Hospital ended at 8, and I showed up about 7:50 (Spokane is in a different time zone one hour behind ours). Thankfully, since I showed up so late, the staff said I could stay longer. When I first walked into Grandpa's room, he was sitting up in his chair, and I said "Hi Grandpa. I came for a surprise visit to see you". He told me to pull up a chair, and I asked him what was going on with his heart. He told me there was nothing wrong with his heart, and basically gave me a rundown of his medical problems for the past 40 years. Then he told me that he had no reason to live anymore, because he was losing his hearing, his sight, and his wife is no longer here. But he said that he'd rather go this way than his sister-in-law did. I asked him which sister-in-law he was referring to (one of his brother's wives or one of my grandma's sisters). It was at this point that he paused, really looked at me, and realized who I was. He didn't recognize me at first, and thought I was just another staff member at the hospital. That was kind of alarming, because I'd already been with him for about 25 minutes. Then he started telling me stories, but kept throwing up, because he said the food gets lodged in his throat from all the pills he takes, and he told me he was humiliated that he kept throwing up in front of me, but on the same token, it didn't deter him in the slightest from stop telling his stories either! I left about 9:15, and drove to his house to spend the night alone. I told him I would come back in the morning so that I would be there to talk to the doctor and check him out of the hospital.
No comments:
Post a Comment