knee-deep

Last winter, I started noticing pain in my left knee when I walked down stairs. Then in the spring, my left knee started bothering me when I drove stick-shift and had to use my left leg on the clutch. During the summer, I began having to pop my left knee constantly, and it bothered me even while I was sitting still or laying still in bed. This fall, I was completely unable to do squats due to the amount of pain my left knee produced while I was in that position, and walking downstairs had become completely unbearable. 

In August I visited with an orthopedic surgeon who determined that I would need to have surgery to correct the problem. He was a good doctor who came highly recommended. He comes to Salmon every two weeks from Montana, and I saw him at the local clinic. So I scheduled surgery...3 different times because the hospital kept changing the date on me. The final date was set for Friday, November 16. It turned out to be good timing, because it was the week before Thanksgiving, and I only had to take two days off of work because of the short work week. 

I was super nervous leading up to it, and I felt like it was going to be the death of me. I kept having dreams of such ideas, too. When the doctor talked to me about the arthroscopic surgery that I would have, he told me things that I may never be able to do again: jump, dance, run without a limp, etc. I was so afraid of the unknown, but I knew that I had to do something to correct my knee problem--it had just gotten worse and worse and was bothering me constantly and the pain had become practically non-stop. So I knew that surgery was inevitable. Still...just the thought of needles and blood and pain was unsettling. I don't do well with anesthesia, and I was nervous for everything that I had to endure at the hospital. I kept thinking of being unable to walk and get around, and the thought of not being able to take care of my family or my own needs while I was recovering from surgery gave me nervous anxiety. 

The night before my surgery, I had a "last supper" and "final act". I went to a relief society dinner, then went to a play, then went to another late dinner with Amanda and John, then went to the midnight show of Breaking Dawn. I was happy to have my mind off what would be happening early the next morning.  

 The surgery took place in the Salmon hospital. Josh took me there in the morning, and hung around as they poked me trying to get the IV needle in my arm. I'd had problems when I'd gotten lab work done a few days before that, too. The phlebotomist had to poke me twice just to draw a little blood. I hated it. My arms were still bruised from her attempts. The nurses tried 3 times that morning before successfully getting it right. I cried silent tears as they were doing it. I hate needles and blood!!! Seriously, I've passed out from just getting my finger pricked before. Then the nurse had to shave more around the knee than I'd anticipated, and he did so with an electric buzzer. I am extremely ticklish on my legs, and I laughed so hysterically loud, that the doctor and nurses kept poking their head in my room to make sure I was okay. It was so embarrassing. When the nurses were done with me, and the doctor and anesthesiologist had both talked to me, they wheeled me off to the O.R.

I've had 4 surgeries performed in a hospital before: 3 C-sections, and my wisdom teeth removal. I was coherent and awake with my C-sections, but I had been put completely under when I was 17 to get my wisdom teeth out. I remember right before that surgery that I had to count backwards from 10 after they gave me the sleepy juice, and I only got to number 7. My whole goal for this surgery was to make it to 5 in the backwards counting. I really wanted to count and stay alert until I said number 5. After I got in the O.R., and got switched to the surgical bed, the anesthesiologist put some stuff in my I.V. He told me it would just relax me. And that's the last thing I remember. I was SOOO angry when I came out of surgery, because I was never given the opportunity to count backwards!!! When I woke up, the nurse told me that it was over, and I yelled "What?!! But I never got to count!!!". They took me back to the original room I'd started off in that morning, and waited until I felt like I was ready to go home. The doctor visited me. The anesthesiologist visited me (and I complained to him that I never got to count, too. He told me that he had no intention of me falling asleep with just the relaxer, and that it wasn't his fault that I didn't get to count). After 2 hours of laying, and sitting, and waiting, I wanted to just be home in my own bed, even though I still felt so uncomfortable. They wheeled me out on a wheelchair, and I was gagging the whole time. I was so incredibly nauseous, and every movement agitated my stomach. Thankfully, I never threw up. The nurse had given me alcohol wipes that I kept smelling to prevent me from retching. Josh drove me home, put me in bed, and took care of me for 3 solid days. Josh and this ice pack were my life savers!

 I had found some crutches the week before at the local thrift store, and I used them to help me walk to the bathroom. For two days, I only ever got out of bed to go pee. My leg was wrapped, and I couldn't see how bad everything looked, which I was okay with--I didn't want to know, I was afraid to look.

 On the 3rd day after surgery, I was allowed to finally get the incision wet. I was looking forward to taking a shower and feeling clean again. Josh is a much braver soul than me regarding all things bloody, and so I had him take off the bandages for me. He really is a sweet man...

The damage wasn't too bad. There were 3 incisions where the lasers went in to scope out two tears that I had in my ligament. Actually, when I first looked at the surgical area, the purple markings seemed to draw more attention than the cuts in the skin did, so that was a good sign.

 The two incisions under my knee healed pretty quickly, but the cut above the knee gave me the most trouble. It was the largest cut, and the doctor had put stitches underneath the skin, so it puckered out. It was tight and bulky and was the most inflamed and itchy for weeks afterwards (the stitches and puckering just barely became undone at New Years). After one week post-surgery, I completely stopped taking pain meds, and after two weeks, I stopped using the ice machine. This is a photo one week post-op:

I had to go to 3 sessions of physical therapy, and I've seen the doctor twice since the surgery. I was nervous at first that nothing had changed because it still hurt to walk down stairs and my knee was still popping. But the healing was slower than I thought it would be, and it took me two months to finally admit that the $7500 procedure was worth it! I can walk downstairs with minimal pain, I can now squat with no pain, I can use the clutch in the car with no pain, and I can lay in bed without having to pop my knee. I am so grateful that I got the procedure done! 

I was so grateful for the people that were so kind to me during this ordeal. In addition to my sweet husband who took such great care of me and our boys and the house, I had several friends who came to my aid. My friend Hailey watched the younger boys while I was having surgery. My visiting teachers brought over a week's worth of meals, and a majority of them were frozen so we could use them whenever we needed them. That was so awesome. They came on Friday night, the day of my surgery, with warm chicken noodle soup. I ate that soup for days afterwards, and it was the only thing that I felt hungry for with my pain meds. I was so grateful for their intuitiveness! My friend Amanda brought over a meal (my FAVORITE meal of ham & potatoes au gratin), and played games one night, and it felt good to laugh and be treated like normal. My friend Gina brought some delicious cookies that my boys all ate ferociously! I was grateful for her visit and kindness. My friend Camille brought over a meal, including my favorite chips (Lays Original). My mother-in-law Kathy made lunch for the boys one day, and gave me some beautiful flowers on the day of my surgery. My mom and dad came one night, and brought a meal with them. I enjoyed their visit, and was so glad they came to see me. My friend Heather sent me the sweetest care package, and I appreciated her thoughtfulness so much. I felt so thankful to have such good people in my life.

Now that the procedure is done and I can move on (literally) more pain-free with life, I am looking forward to the day that the surgery bill is paid off!!! ;)

Birthday in Boise

I treated Josh to a special birthday trip to Boise at the beginning of November. I had a spectacular day all planned out. We left Salmon on a Saturday morning, stopping in Stanley to drop off the youngest 3 boys at his cousin's (and babysitter's) house. We continued on and arrived in Boise in the afternoon. We did some shopping for a couple hours and checked in at our hotel, and then we went to the Boise Temple open house.  Our tour time was at 4:10, and we had planned to go there with our friend Amanda and her husband Steve. We met up with them at a parking place, and took a tour bus to the temple. 

When we got to the temple, we had to wait in a huge line, and had to go through a church across from the temple first to watch a video session. It took FOREVER. We waited an hour and a half in line before we could finally go inside the newly renovated temple. There was beautiful stained glass additions, and the baptismal font area was my favorite. 

But I admit that I like the marble blocks that were on the exterior of the temple better before they made the changes and renovations. The exterior of the temple appears so much more plain now. I loved the marble-ized effect that it used to have, and I don't know why they changed it to this more generic look.

After the temple tour, we went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. I love that place, but Josh had never been there. I thought he would love it, too, but that ended up not being the case. He was irritated that we had to wait so long before being seated. I tried to make reservations so that we wouldn't have to wait, but they don't do that. So I bought extra cheesecake to make up for the wait!!

The best part of the day was scheduled for that night--I had purchased tickets for us to see a BSU football game! After dinner, we changed our clothes at the hotel and headed to the stadium.

Neither one of us had been to a BSU game before, and Josh had wanted to go to one for years. I'm so glad that it finally worked out for us to go! We arrived and made it up to our seats at the top of the stadium just moments before the game began at 8:30. We watched the marching band play on the field and then the football players came out. It was exhilerating to be in attendance!

It was fun to be there. But, unfortunately, they lost the game. That was hard to watch. It was such a rarity to see them lose on their home turf, and walking away with the crowds after the game, disappointment could definitely be felt in the air. 

My spectacularly planned day didn't turn out to be exactly how I imagined it: the line to get into the temple was too long, the wait to be seated for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory was frustrating, and the loss at the football game was upsetting. But, even despite the unexpected delays in our day, I was happy to be alone with Josh. I love spending time with that man. The next morning, we drove home to Salmon, stopping on the way again in Stanley to pick up our boys. A few days later, it was Josh's actual birthday. I made him homemade beef pot pie for dinner, a first for me and it worked out so good.

After dinner, he opened gifts from the boys. They had all chosen gifts for him, and then decorated their own gift bags with markers. It was fun to see their colorful decorations, and they were proud of their work!

They gave Josh some of his favorite food items: chocolates, kit-kats, jerky, and cracklin oat bran cereal. I love that Josh is always so easy to please! And he liked their unique wrapping, too!

I didn't make Josh his own birthday cheesecake this year, since I'd purchased extra cheesecake slices when we were at the Cheesecake Factory. He didn't even complain that he didn't get an entire cheesecake this year, like I usually make for him. I love that Josh is so easy to please!

What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man, yes he is! Happy Birthday, babe! I'm lucky to have you and I love you so much! You're an incredible husband and an amazing father and I am happy to grow old with you (especially since I know that you'll always be older than me!).

Parties, Parades, Carnivals, & Costumes

I love Halloween. I love any excuse to dress up and wear costumes! And the boys love eating candy. So it's the perfect holiday for all of us!!!

Usually I have a big plan of what we'll all be for Halloween, and we get ready weeks in advance, but this year, the holiday seemed to sneak up on us. I knew we needed costumes for the ward Halloween party a week before Halloween, so we started looking for costumes a few days before the party. 

Jonah and Micah knew what they wanted to be, but I couldn't find the costumes of a werewolf or ninja anywhere. So we looked at the local Rags & Wags secondhand store for ideas. We found an army jacket, and Jonah decided to be an army guy. We found a black silky jacket, and Micah said he could use it to still be a ninja. Jonah already had an army helmet at home, and he used some camouflage pants. And there were already some black silky pants in the costumes box to complete Micah's costume.

Kanyon found items in the costume box to be a pirate. We added some tattoos to his arms from Jonah and Micah's pirate birthday party to complete his costume.

Ammon said he was too old to dress up for Halloween (he was 12), and I kept trying to convince him otherwise. For the ward party, he decided at the last minute to be a BSU Broncos fan, and he wore a BSU hat & sweatshirt, I found an orange pom-pom he could wear for hair, and I bought some face paint to draw on him, too. 

At the ward party, we ate dinner & dessert, the kids had a costume parade, there were several youth carnival activities for the children, and then we had trick-door-treating down the hallways at the end of the party. It was a fun night for all of us!

The actual day of Halloween was (and always is) crazy! During first recess, Kanyon got ready for his Kindergarten Halloween party. During last recess, I helped Jonah & Micah get dressed in their costumes and put make-up on their faces for the school costume parade.

After the costume parade, Jonah and Micah had a class party that I went to for part of the time. Their room moms had it organized so well, and the boys had a great time!

As soon as school was over, I picked up the boys and took them trick-or-treating down Main Street. I love that the stores in Salmon participate in the Merchant's Trick or Treating. It's a great way to see a lot of costumes, a lot of kids, and get a lot of candy in a short amount of time! As soon as we were done trick-or-treating, Josh and I took the boys to the school's Halloween Carnival.

We ate and played games there until the boys used up all their tickets. Then Josh took the younger boys home. Ammon went to a junior high dance and I volunteered at the Carnival for an hour and a half.  I was a Grecian this year and I wore my costume all day. The students couldn't figure out what I was; some of them thought I was mother earth, and a lot of them thought I was an angel!

After the carnival, Josh took the boys trick-or-treating to some of the neighbors' homes. By the time I got home that night, the boys had already examined all the candy in their buckets, and prioritized eating the best candy first. Josh had put our carved pumpkins on the front porch, and when I drove up to see them all lit up, it made me smile. I love my little family! Even though it was a stressful and crazy busy day, it was also a fun day, and I enjoyed being a part of it with my kids!

creative carving

At our Family Home Evening on the Monday night prior to Halloween, we carved pumpkins together. The boys got to pick out their own pumpkins from the patch weeks earlier, and they were so happy to be able to finally carve them. Jonah and Micah picked beautiful big, orange pumpkins, Kanyon chose a spotted pumpkin, Ammon decided on a green bell-shaped one, and Josh & I both carved small ones that were leftover after the patch had closed.

Josh and I both bought some carving kits, and this was the first year that the boys have carved their own pumpkins, which made it even funner for them! I've always had them pick out faces, or draw a design on paper, and I've done all the cutting for them. I can't believe how much easier the little saws made cutting and carving the pumpkins! I wish I'd bought the carving kits long before now! Jonah and Micah chose some cool designs that were included in the kits, and got to work taping and cutting. Ammon designed his own deer head and then cut the pattern into his pumpkin. Kanyon chose his face pattern from the kit, and I cut it for him. 

The boys were so proud of themselves and their accomplishment in carving their own pumpkins! I just loved seeing them work so diligently on their individual pumpkins, and being so happy with what they'd done. It was a fun Family Home Evening!

 Josh and I each made smaller designs in our small pumpkins. I thought smaller pumpkins would be easier to work with, but they were more difficult. It was hard to get my hand inside to de-gunk it, and the cuts with the saw all had to be smaller. It was a challenge, but I think Josh's and my pumpkins turned out cute!

After everyone was done creating their jack-o-lanterns, we lined them all up lit all the candles inside them and turned the lights off. We all stood staring and admiring our work. I loved everyone's different designs! What a fun combination of carved pumpkins!