for the First and Last time

The annual Children's Primary Program at church was on a Sunday in mid-September. It was the FIRST and LAST time that all my boys would be in it together...Kanyon was in the sunbeam class for the first time this year and Ammon turns 12 in January and will be in the Young Men's group next year.

I was looking forward to seeing all the boys on the stand during Sacrament Meeting, and I envisioned a lovely, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity sitting next to my husband in the audience without kids in between us, and us smiling and being so proud of our children on the stand.

With the boys all dressed in their handsome church clothes, we headed off to church.

In our ward this year, Sacrament Meeting is first. After the Sacrament services were finished, the children were asked to come up from the congregation and sit on the stand. I told the older boys to leave their church bags with us, and as they were exiting our row to walk up front, they insisted that Kanyon leave his bag with us, too. And that began Kanyon's meltdown. I told the boys that Kanyon could take his bag with him, but it was too late. Kanyon no longer wanted to go sit up front. He wanted to keep his bag with him, and he wanted to sit by us. I really felt like it was important for him to go with his class, so I carried him up to the front of the room, and I sat with him for a minute, explaining to him that he could see me and dad from where his seat was. I whispered to him until he seemed calm, and then I set him on his chair on the stand, and I walked down in the congregation. Then he immediately got out of his chair, threw himself on the ground and started banging his head. So, I walked back up, sat down, and set him on my lap. I knew his class would be first to say their parts in the microphone, so I was determined to help him through that part. I told him if he said his part in the microphone, then he could come sit back by me and dad. When his class got up to share their speaking parts, I carried him, and waited our turn in the line. When it was his turn, I lifted him up, whispered to him his one-sentence part, and of course he refused to say it. So, after a few moments, I said it for him, carried him out of the room, and took him outside. For 10 minutes, he screamed and cried outside because he "dont wanna do it". I was so upset! Finally, after he calmed down, I carried him back in the room, and we sat by dad for the rest of the meeting. It was THE longest Children's Sacrament Meeting I have ever seen. The kids had only practiced it once the week before in primary, and it was very disorganized, and the kids didn't know all the songs or their speaking parts, and we ran over time-wise about 15 minutes, and they even had to cut out two songs! Even if it hadn't been so long, I couldn't enjoy it because I was fuming inside the whole time from the scene that Kanyon had created. My visions of the perfect first-and-last primary program were gone.

But, on the upside: I thought the other boys did a great job speaking into the microphone and sharing their parts. Jonah and Micah used to have stage-fright and wouldn't speak or sing, and they did fabulous! And it was sweet to see Ammon up there for the last time in the Primary! And hopefully, next year, Kanyon will be able to sit up front without help from his mommy!