Here's to You, Mr.

HAPPY FATHER's DAY to the man who raised me--My Dadand

HAPPY FATHER's DAY to the man who's the father of my boys--My Husbandand

HAPPY FATHER's DAY to the man who raised my husband--My Father-in-Law

WARNING: this is not a happy post

Nobody's answering their cell phones. I really need to talk. So, I'm venting via my blog. I never wanted to do this, but I'm truly desperate. I'm the kind of person that needs to talk about bad things that happen to me in order to feel better.
Two weeks ago, I found out I didn't get a job that I really wanted, that I really hoped for, that I really thought I'd get. I was devastated. Every morning for a week, after I first woke up, I remembered that I didn't get it. Every morning for a week, I cried, I didn't want to get out of bed, I told myself what a blow it was to my ego, what a loss it was to my spirit. It was very difficult, especially considering the circumstances surrounding it. I don't really want to talk about the even more unbearable details, so please don't ask. I still haven't recuperated from it, but at least I don't wallow in it every morning like I was.
Right after I found out I didn't get the job, I went to Utah to stay with my family for a few days. And right after I got back to Salmon, our new house was ready to move into. I've been moving ever since.
Every day, I drive the 50+ feet to my old trailer, pack up the truck or van, drive back to the new house, unload and sort through and clean and put away stuff, and repeat the process 3-6 times a day. And as of yet, officially only two rooms are cleaned out: the bathroom and the kitchen. All the big things are out, but all the little things are what's taking up all my time. It's wearing me out.
This morning when I got up, I especially felt overwhelmed with the task of moving. And then I discovered that the 'special wash' laundry I did last night, I didn't pay attention to some of the labels and I shrunk two of my dresses. And then I discovered a leak in the wall from the showerhead. Unfortunately, the wall that lines the shower is part of the closet in the master bedroom. We just finished clearing out the old closets and organizing the new closets yesterday. Josh screwed in multiple shelves and it took us several hours just to do that certain closet--the closet that is now ripped apart to fix the leak. And then I discovered that the rain that came down all day yesterday leaked through the roof in my old house right onto a pile of photos and photo albums. All of 2009's photos, and my wedding album, and our professional photos we had taken last fall were damaged.
I am beyond upset. I can't stop crying. I feel so alone. And I can't handle the overwhelming pain and I feel my depression sinking in. I hate this feeling.
And now that I've talked about it, I'm feeling slightly better.

"moms flowers"

Dandelions are a definite sign of Spring! Kanyon loves when all the "lello" flowers grow in the grass in between mowings. He calls them "moms flowers" and always picks several at a time and brings them to me to have! I place them in water-filled containers in the kitchen for display. I love my hand-picked, special-delivered flowers!!!

Jumping for Joy

May 2010 was a really cold and wet month! When we finally got a nice, sunny, spring day, the boys were so happy that they spent nearly the entire day outside: soaking in the sun's rays, playing in the dirt, and JUMPING for JOY!!!

Sweet Swine

With the beginning of May came the beginning of this year's 4-H! This is the 2nd year that Ammon chose to do a swine project for the county fair in August.

For his demonstration, he talked about the different breeds of swine at a 4-H meeting:

We chose to get our weaner pigs from a pig farm in Leadore. Here's some of their larger swine:

Ammon chose a little pink one and a black & white one:

We argued the entire hour-long drive home about what they should be named. I personally liked "Porky and Beano" or "Jet & Cord" (the cowboys from the Amazing Race--one had a white hat and one had a dark hat). Josh liked "Guns and Roses" or "Schittz and Giggles".

Ultimately, Ammon got to choose because, well, they ARE his pigs. And he named them...

"Oreo"

and "Frosty".

Property Placement: shedding the shed

(Out with the Old, In with the New: PART 4)

Living in a small house means storage space is limited, so having sheds is a NECESSITY! We have three: his, hers, and a bike shed. My shed was bordering the south side of the house, so moving it was inevitable. Back in January, we decided to take on that task.

We chose a spot for it to go: across the driveway close to where the other two sheds were. But before we could move it, several steps had to happen. That chosen spot for the shed was where Josh usually parks his truck. We chose a different spot for him to park his truck, but that's where the travel trailer is parked. We chose a different spot to park the travel trailer, but that's where a wood pile was. So...Josh cut the wood lengths into blocks, we moved the wood to the other side of the fence, parked the travel trailer where the wood was, parked the truck where the travel trailer was, and we made way for the shed by leveling the ground and Josh poured gravel over the spot. Josh backed up a flatbed trailer next to my shed for me to put all of its contents onto. I didn't want to put all the stuff on the ground, and I didn't want to have to carry everything across the frozen driveway, so this really helped out a lot! I unloaded the shed's contents, and the boys loaded them all onto the trailer for me. I felt like somebody on "Clean Sweep" after seeing everything placed on that trailer. I couldn't believe how much crap was crammed into my shed: grow boxes (kids' clothing), sports equipment, holiday decorations, memorabilia boxes (Josh's & mine), coolers, camping equipment, luggage, baskets, random supplies, blah blah blah, etc etc etc.After the shed was emptied, Josh wrapped a chain around it, and used Grandpa's backhoe to push and pull it the 50 feet to its new location. That was the easiest part of the whole process, and took the least amount of time--less than a half hour!Then the contents of the shed were re-organized and placed inside once again! The new location is perfect! I wish we would've put it there to begin with when we bought the shed and put it together 8 years ago! It took us two weekends to get this entire project done: one Saturday to cut and move all the wood, and one Saturday to move the shed and all of its contents. (in the photo below, the travel trailer is visible at the far left, and the new wood pile is between the trailer and the bike shed).
This was the last preparation on the property that we could do until we were approved for our loan (which didn't happen until May)! We were so excited to finally begin the destruction of the old house!

...to be continued

Physical Preparation: in Anticipation

(Out with the Old, in with the New: Part 3)

When we found out from Wells Fargo in January that we would qualify to buy our home in February (after we received our taxes and paid off a few debts), we started to physically prepare ourselves. We hated to just wait around and do nothing in the meantime! I started with the inside of the house: I cleaned out the kitchen and boxed up any decorations I could, and then I started going through the kids' outgrown clothes, taking some to local families and some to charity. I didn't want to box up anything inside I actually needed, because I didn't know for sure WHEN exactly we'd be moving.

At the end of January, most of the snow was melted, and we wanted to start on outdoor projects that had to be done before we moved. In order to move away the old house and make way for the new house that is twice in size, we had to remove everything surrounding the house that would be in the way during the whole process.

In the front of the house, there was a propane tank, ornamental trees, large rocks outlining the edge of the house, decorative antique equipment, and a covered porch that all had to be removed. This is a photo of the front of our old house, taken in January:

The propane company came and picked up the tank (our new home doesn't use propane). Josh dug up and transplanted the three ornamental trees, and we moved all the large rocks and antiques to a different location.After we switched mortgage companies in February, and we thought we'd be moving out on Saturday March 13, we started taking apart our covered front porch. This is what it looked like at the beginning of March:We took the BBQ grill and chest freezer down to the outdoor pavilion in Edward & Kathy backyard, and then Josh (with a little help from me) removed the covering over the porch, a very time-consuming task. Of course, that first night after we took it down, it rained! We missed the roof as soon as it was gone! We thought it would only be for a few short days, but it turned into 2 months that we lived without it. We never would have taken it down if we'd known it was going to be so long! And, of course, those 2 months were during the middle of Spring, so the rain came down and the mud came into the house (via footprints) constantly. So frustrating!

Now that everything on the front was gone (except the porch itself, which we waited to remove until we knew FOR SURE when we'd be moving out--we learned our lesson with the covering!), it was time to work on another outdoor task.

....to be continued

Bucket List: Items #3, 4, 5

When Josh and I met, we discovered that neither of us had been to a concert, but we both really wanted to. We made it a goal of ours to attend one. Finally, after 8 years of marriage, I got tickets to see Nickelback in concert--with my sisters! Josh said he couldn't go because he'd already committed himself to attend an overnight scout camp/hike. It was totally his loss (especially since he hurt his foot really bad on that scout hike while I was gone!). Nickelback was absolutely amazing in concert!!! And I really enjoyed going to see it with my sisters! After that night, I made it a personal goal to see a concert at least once EVERY year. So far, I've kept that goal. And Josh has come with me to every concert since then, too! We can't believe we waited so long to start going to them! My favorite concerts as of yet have been: Nickelback, Faith Hill/Tim McGraw, and Muse. But you know who I would LOVE to see in concert? U2, Bon Jovi, and Celine Dion. I have loved all three since I was a teenager, and I know that all three would be fabulous performers! Back in February, I purchased tickets for Josh and I to see U2 in concert TONIGHT, but due to an emergency back surgery for Bono, that concert has been delayed until next year. I can't tell you how disappointed I am! Someday, hopefully someday, I will see these favorite performers of mine live in concert!
My Official Bucket List Items # 3, 4, 5: See U2, Bon Jovi, and Celine Dion perform in concert!!!

Cinco de Mayo

As I was tentatively planning out the ward parties for the year back in January, I knew I wanted to do something fun and festive in the spring. Last spring I did an Easter party, and the year before that was an "Around the World" party. I thought a "FIESTA" would be fun, and I planned it to be on the first Wednesday in May, which just so happened to be Cinco de Mayo!!

The day of the party went so smoothly...Josh and John helped me set up tables and chairs (enough for 150 people), I only had to take Kanyon with me to decorate and I got it all done rather quickly, I cooked the hamburger the night before--so the remainder of the food preparations were not stressful, and the party started basically on time!

I decorated the gym with red and yellow crepe paper (for me, crepe paper always screams "Party Time" because my mom used to decorate our house with it whenever it was one of my sibling's birthdays") and the doorways had festive "FIESTA" banners:The table centers were adorned with shiny little red confetti chili peppers:The stage had 5 "FIESTA" pinatas hung from the curtain rods:
For dinner, we ate soft tacos (with all the fixings), chips and salsa, and rainbow sherbet for dessert. I had two sets of tables with all the dinner items on opposite sides of the gym, so that people could serve themselves from both sides of the tables--thus creating four lines. It really made dinner serving so quick and easy, and the time spent waiting in line was reduced dramatically!

After dinner, the kids all made maracas. Weeks before the party, I asked members of the ward to save their empty yogurt containers. I collected them, and then cut out lids from cereal boxes (I admit I pride myself on my resourcefulness). There was two tables at the party set-up with everything the kids needed to create the noisemakers. They chose a yogurt container, a lid, wrote their name on the lid, filled the container with donated dry beans, and then taped the lid to the container. VOILA!! Instant Maraca!!! (and entirely free, too!) The maraca creations were a huge hit! All the kids just LOVED them!!! I taught the kids how to shake their maracas to the beat of music, and then played "La Bamba". The children danced and shook their maracas to the song for everyone to see!!!

The last event for the evening was the pinatas! All the youth were SO excited! Each pinata had 10 strings (one string was the magic one that opened up the bottom letting loose all the candy and favors). All the kids found a place under a pinata, and I told them to hold on to a string, and wait to pull it until I counted to "3". At the sound of "3", candy was dumped all over the stage, and the kids all picked up as much as they could keep in their baggies.

(in the photo below, look at the pinata in front of Josh--the candy is falling out! And see the reaction on Kanyon's face? This picture puts a smile on my face!)

It was the smoothest, best ward party I've ever done! Within an hour of its beginning, it was over! I didn't have one problem (or 'glitch') like I always have in the past! I smiled the whole night and really enjoyed myself! My boys had such a great time, too, and they devoured all their candy that night and shook their maracas for weeks after (don't tell them, but during the house-move, I threw them away).

I told the Bishop after it was over, that since it all went so perfectly, that probably means I'll be getting a new calling soon. And surprisingly, he agreed to that statement!! But the truth is, I really enjoy being the Ward Activities Chairperson. I love creating, organizing, and throwing parties that I don't have to pay for ;)!!!

Goodbye Spring

Today is the last day of May; so for me, that means today is the last day of spring! Over the last 3 months, we've completed the majority of our Spring Top Ten list! Here's a glimpse at the listed items:

1. See the trees bloom and the grass turn green!
It was a cold spring, so the grass and trees didn't turn green until much later than normal. I truly appreciated when they did! The fruit trees just barely blossomed two weeks ago! I loved watching the world come to life again!

2. Go camping at Challis Hot Springs
This was such an enjoyable experience and it's the only camping trip we've taken so far this year (unless you count living in our camp trailer for the past two weeks, which I don't!).
3. Visiting Grandpa Perkins in Spokane
I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to visit my Grandpa! I spent two nights at his house, and I learned so much about his life and had the opportunity to rummage through some of my Grandma's things, too.
4. Having the golf course open!
This is Josh's 10th year working as Superintendent for the Salmon Valley Golf Course! He loves his job!!! Josh and Ammon both look forward to when the course officially opens each year!
5. Celebrate Easter with the Perkins family!
This was my favorite Easter yet! And winning the golden egg only helped matters!
6. Enjoy our anniversary with a couple's night away!
Our original plan of staying overnight without the children didn't work out, but we did spend an afternoon alone together window shopping, we saw Muse in concert, and we went to the Twin Falls temple!

7. Planting the Garden
Due to the cold weather, we were a little delayed doing this! We finally just planted the garden TODAY!!!
8. Moving into our new home!
This did NOT happen, but we DID move out of our old home and are anxiously awaiting the day when we can move into our new home (hopefully it's sooner rather than later!).

9. Watch Ammon's 4th grade musical program
This was Ammon's final elementary school musical program. We enjoyed watching him and his classmates perform!
10. Attend Jonah and Micah's Kindergarten Graduation
Jonah and Micah sang so well during the musical portion of their graduation! We were so proud of them! And the children looked so wonderful in their caps and gowns!